Mar 29, 2012

LAUGH...then VOTE!

UPDATE: VOTING IS CLOSED!!! Comment #20 is the winner!!!

20 - On my way out for a run at the cabin, wearing a tank top... Grace asks "Mom, why do you have two peanut m&ms in your bra?"

Ready to laugh? Take a quick look at all these ADORABLE things kids say... then VOTE! 

The quote that gets the MOST VOTES will get a $5 Starbucks gift card from ME!

Directions: In the comment section, list the # of your top 3 favorite quotes IN ORDER. You can vote until 9pm PST on Saturday night. The winner will be announced on Sunday!


1 - A couple Mother's Days ago...
I was putting away some laundry when my 8 year old mentioned he still had a full hamper. I asked him, "It's Mother's Day, aren't you going to do your own laundry today?" He answered, "I don't know how to turn on the washing machine...I'm not even sure DAD knows." 

2 - It's the Kindergarten Pre-School screening interview: Interview Lady: Olivia, If I said "sugar is sweet..., then lemons are...???"
Olivia's answer: "For my mom's drinks." 

3 - Danny (age 4): Ya' know... Jesus is right here in the room with us.
David (age 3): Yeah...
Danny: You can't see him though.
David: No, but you can smell his breath.

4 - Mimi: "Archer, do you think Mimi is old?"Archer: (after much thought) "Well, 66 IS an old number."

5 - Jack (age 5): mom! We really need to start saving money so Ethan can go to college (Ethan is 11)! It cost like 10 dollars!
Me: Speechless...
6 - Madison (age 7): Do you know where the timer is?
Me: yes, why do you want it?
Madison: I am going to tan out front. I need the timer
so I know when to flip.

7 - St. Patrick's Day is coming! Tradition at our house is for the kids to leave a treasure box on their windowsill (where the moonlight can shine on it) and the mischievous leprechauns will come and fill it with gold. They might also cause some trouble around the house. This morning....
Kara (7): Mom, when can we go shopping?
Me: What for?
Kara: Supplies to build a trap. I'm going to catch a leprechaun.

8 - Me: Isaiah, you need to eat your dinner.
Isaiah (age4): Jesus doesn't like that mommy.
Me: Jesus doesn't like what?
Isaiah: My dinner. He's in my tummy and he doesn't want to eat that. 

9 - 7-year-old (to the 5-year-old): "Yours would be medium, mine would be large, and Mom's would be EXTRA-large"
(at which point I yelled from the other room...)
Me: "Hey! You don't say your mom has an "extra-large" ANYTHING!
7-year-old: "MOM!!!! We're talking about BRAINS!!!"

10 - Me: Watcha doin', Nick?
Nick (4): Playin' with my pee pee.
Me: Oh. What are you playing?
Nick: Hide and go seek.
*silence for 5 seconds*
Nick: GOTCHA!!
11 - Katelyn (age 3 1/2) Mommy when I grow up you get to be my flower girl.
After watching my wedding video!

12 - About a year ago I caught Sara digging around in her closet, I asked her what she was doing, she replied "Mom, I'm looking for my cowboy BOOBS!"

13 - Preston is in that questioning stage and the other morning asked me, "How do you think?" After saying something about his brain doing the thinking he replied, "But *how* does it think?"

14 - Hannah....,my 8 yr old @ 4H scrapbooking last night. She announced to her entire 4H group..." Don't worry flat chested friends...I hear that if you don't have big boobis by age 35 that there is surgery to get some boobies."

15 - Simon (6 years old)
"Simon, be careful carrying that, ok?"
"Mom...I'll be careful. I'm 6 years old! I've been trained for 6 years! I can do it!"
Thought to myself... "He's got a point!"
16 - Our then almost four-year-old was playing with his binoculars, which he called "noculars." I explained that if there was only one lens it would be called a "monocular." He then said, "And when I turn them around backwards they're called 

17 - max (3yrs): "i'm gonna go see mommy"...
(max runs into the living room to see me and runs back to dad)
eric: "what's mommy doing?"
max: "sleeping"
eric: "how do you know?"
max: "because her eyes are closed and her lips are zipped."

18 - sam (10 yrs old): i've been thinking about this since i was little...when i die i want to be buried with flowers over me.
me: oh, ok, why?
sam: in case i'm still alive, it would be easier to get out then with a tombstone over me...

19 - Grey's Anatomy: "How long have you been screwing my husband?"
Abby: "Husband? What? No!"

20 - On my way out for a run at the cabin, wearing a tank top... Grace asks "Mom, why do you have two peanut m&m's in your bra?"

21 - Today, Isaiah asked me when he could go visit outer space. I told him that he could be an astronaut when he grows up and then he could go to space. He told me, "No, mom. When I'm 5, I can be a kid astronaut. I will go to outer space when I am 5". 

22 - This student of mine walked in to class one day handed me a piece of paper and on the front was a picture of a chocolate bar above it said,"Mrs. Walker is better than a chocolate bar."

23 - My three year old daughter, Abby, picked her nose ate it the other day.
After I threw up in my mouth, I told her not to eat what comes out of her nose because it was gross and unclean.
She looked at me like I was crazy and said, "Mom, I eat my boogers because they are chocolate and I love chocolate."

24 - Dad (helping Cassidy get ready for school): "Which shoes do you wear everyday to school?"
Cassidy: "I don't go to school EVERYday Dad!"
25 - me: max, please drink your water.
max: no thank you.
me: yes, i want you to finish your water.
max: but mom it hurts my breath.

26 - "Mom, I can't wear sisters pink helmet. Men don't wear pink, I'm a man and I can't wear pink". 
Alex...he's 5. 

27 - Working through the days of the week...
Me: "What day comes after Tuesday?"
4YO: "THREESday!"
28 - We were ordering dinner at Rubio's and Paige (3) says "I'll have a fish taco without the fish".

29 - My 3 yr old burps and says "WOW, my mouth just tooted!"

30 - Abby (2) wakes up from her nap and Daddy goes in to get her up.
She hold out her hands to him and says, "Daddy! Poop!"
31 - My 5 year old says to me while I'm driving home from the gym at about 10am one day...and we stop at a red light next to a police car..."oh gosh, it's the cops! Everybody act natural!". She takes after her father.