Mar 25, 2012


Someone to play with.

Someone to share a room with.

Someone to take a bath with.

Someone to be silly with.

Someone to laugh with.

Someone to fight with.

So... my question to you is... How do you deal with sibling rivalry?

How often do you intervene? How often do you let them figure it out on their own?

I'd love to hear...

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Sleep-Deprived said...

For me it is all determined by the tone. They can disagree about what they're doing, and get frustrated with one another, but they have to be respectful while doing it. They frequently work things out on their own...but I try to keep in mind they're basically trying to figure out how to respond to frustration, disappointment, disagreement, being wronged etc. And children are not born naturally responding in a selfless or respectful way.

My most frequent interventions sound something like, "Yes, what your brother did was wrong, but you squeezing his head was not an appropriate way for you to express your frustration." And then I explain a more appropriate way (pointing out that had he come to me before reacting, only his brother would be in trouble and not him. I also ask how effective his method had been in fixing what was bugging him). I follow up with discipline, but it is received a lot better on the heels of discussion.

Beware, I periodically have to own up to my own inappropriate expressions of frustration, anger, disappointment etc. :)

P.S. the above example was from my oldest who is actually very measured and patient, puts up with a TON, and requires very little correction. However, everyone has their breaking point. (Chris and I had a hard time not laughing at the thought of Evan losing his cool and squeezing his brother's head...but we'd never let him know that.)

Kelly said...

Thanks, Jenny! That was awesome...and funny! :) said...

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